Wounded Love (A Rocky Harbor Novel Book 3) Read online

  “Your truck is big.”

  “Your car is tiny. I can’t fit behind the wheel very well.” He made eye contact with Ellie in the rear view mirror.

  She turned her head to look out the window at her car, then back at him. “You should have told me. I would have—”

  “It was fine. A little uncomfortable, but we made it.”

  Once his passengers were buckled he put the truck in reverse and drove slowly to the hospital. It wasn’t a long drive and they’d pulled into the lot before any of them was ready. He flipped the backpack over his shoulder and helped Ellie and CJ out.

  “Want a piggy back ride?”

  “Okay.”

  Colton passed the bag off to Ellie and crouched as far as his knee would allow him, but he was too high off the ground for CJ to hop on. Thankfully, Ellie stepped closer and lifted CJ on to his back. He’d been doing squats and lunges to build up his quads and could deadlift five hundred pounds again. At his peak he’d topped five-forty. The kid weighed next to nothing, that wasn’t the problem, it was finding his balance to straighten to standing position without falling over and dropping CJ.

  “Wow. You’re tall,” he said once Colton was standing.

  “You may have to remind me to duck when we’re going through a doorway or your little noggin will end up with a goose egg.”

  CJ’s tiny hands, soft and vulnerable like his mother’s had once been, gripped tightly around his neck. Hopefully he wouldn’t pass out from lack of oxygen before they made it into the hospital.

  Once inside, he stood back while Ellie checked them in. He wore a visitor’s badge sticker on his chest, as did Ellie, and the receptionist pointed them toward the elevators.

  The ride of doom lasted too long, yet not long enough. The doors opened and they were greeted by two smiling nurses and Dr. Duffy.

  “Hey, CJ. Cool ride you got yourself. It’s nice to see you again, Mr. Riley, Ms. Fairfield.”

  “I almost bonked my head on the elevator, I’m so high.”

  “That you are. Why don’t you all come with me? I’ll show you the room we have set up special for CJ.”

  Colton followed the medical staff down the brightly colored walls of the corridor and into a private room. Disney characters he should probably know were painted on three of the four walls. A nice view of the stadium could be seen out the windows.

  Definitely a step up from where he’d spent his time in Germany and then at Walter Reed. “Ready to slide?” Colton lowered his body and loosened CJ’s grip from around his neck. Slowly he let him slide down his back until his feet hit the floor.

  “We need to go over a few things with CJ and then we’ll sit down with the two of you. There’s some initial paperwork you can start on, Mr. Riley, to quicken the kidney transplant process.” The nurse in pink scrubs handed him a clipboard loaded with papers and questionnaires.

  Ellie sat on the edge of the bed, CJ once again curled in her lap. When she’d yelled at Colton earlier, accusing him of trying to be the hero, it kind of hurt. Just a little. His intention wasn’t to step on her toes, only to step up and be the man his son needed him to be. Yet that made her feel threatened. Respecting her need to feel in control, he slipped unnoticed into the corner of the room, pretending to fill out paperwork.

  Over the past year he’d filled out more medical paperwork than one should ever have to do in a lifetime. He could do it in his sleep. Instead he hung back and listened to the doctor explain the process in kid-friendly terms while the nurses helped CJ into a gown. At least it wasn’t a unisex one with flowers on it. His had a collage of superheroes.

  There were tears and shrieks when they held CJ down to insert the catheter for his IV and Colton forced himself to stay in his seat. Sweat beaded on his upper lip and brow. His son shouldn’t have to go through this. While Ellie was in the shower earlier he’d went online to find as much information he could about the disease.

  Many times it was hereditary. It was Colton’s fault his son was in this situation. He may not have been able to prevent it, but had he been around Ellie wouldn’t have had to worry about healthcare or caring for their son by herself.

  The army of medical staff surrounding the bed made Colton dizzy. Dizzy with fear, with memories, with pain. At thirty years of age he barely held on to his sanity. How could a nine-year-old hold up against the world?

  Remembering what it felt like when he woke up to an array of doctors hovering over him, he shot out of his chair and barked out an order. “Give him some space.”

  CJ was still whimpering, his face buried in Ellie’s lap, the tubing from the IV trailing down his arm and up the pole to the stand.

  “Just give him time to process this.” Colton pushed his way in between the nurses and the bed so he could be nearer. He wasn’t the touchy-feely kind of guy, yet he couldn’t help his hand from reaching out and caressing CJ’s bony legs.

  “We appreciate your concern, Mr. Riley. For most children, this is the worst part. Instead of dragging it out we like to get it over with as quick as possible before the anxiety builds up. We’ll let him rest and be back to check on him in a while.”

  Sweat still dotted his brow and his heart rate couldn’t be healthy right now. His hand continued to rub CJ’s leg and down toward his feet, where he wore some huge green things. “Cool slippers. What the heck are they?”

  Sniffing, CJ lifted his head. “Ninjago.”

  “Is that like Ninjas or something?”

  “They’re Lego Ninjas. I have a Ninjago alarm clock by my bed. I push on his head to turn it off.”

  “And then he goes back to sleep.” Ellie’s eyes were wet, her hands calm as they held firm on to their son’s thin frame.

  “Did you have one of these when you were in the hospital?” CJ lifted his hand toward Colton.

  “Yep. I got so mad after a while and tore it out when the doctor wasn’t looking.”

  “Did you get in trouble?”

  Colton laughed. “So much trouble. And you want to know the worst of it?” CJ nodded in excitement. “It hurt more when I took it out because I’m not a nurse and didn’t know how to do it correctly. If I would have waited for them it wouldn’t have hurt at all.”

  CJ’s right hand hovered over his left, where the IV was connected. “Can I touch it?”

  “Sure you can. You won’t even notice it in a few hours.”

  Ellie rested her head against the bed and mouthed thank you. Seeing he’d done all he could think to do for the moment, he backed out of the room, leaving them alone. He picked up the clipboard on his way out and found a quiet corner to fill out the paperwork so he could donate his kidney to his son.

  And hopefully make him whole again.

  ***

  During the three days CJ stayed in the hospital Colton signed more forms and paperwork than when he had his prosthetic done. Apparently the kidney was more important than a leg. He met with specialists and surgeons and endured, once again, psychological and social evaluations.

  Ellie had offered her support, but the last thing he wanted was for her to hear the shit he’d experienced overseas. And after hours upon hours of endless interrogations, the doctors deemed his organs perfectly healthy, even though his exterior was messed the hell up.

  Still, there were tissue samples, labs to be done, and other long, drawn out testing and evaluations that his and CJ’s teams of doctors had to do before the transplant could happen. Until then, it was sit and wait.

  Colton beamed with paternal pride at how well CJ held up. Every time a nurse entered his room he’d sink into his pillows and ask if he had to have another blood test. Poor kid. They poked him often and he was anxious to get home.

  Nurse Anne Marie was his favorite, probably because she was the one who brought him food and games and wore superhero scrubs, while Jill, the nurse of doom in the Tinkerbelle scrubs, dragged in a cart with vials and needles.

  “I’m going to miss you, knucklehead,” Anne Marie teased. “You’re too cute for wo
rds. Be good for your mom, okay?”

  “I will.” He hugged her tight and climbed in to the wheelchair she held for him, per standard hospital procedure when being released. “Can I bring the chair home with me?”

  “What’s wrong with those legs of yours?”

  “Riding in a wheelchair is more fun.”

  No it’s not. Colton hadn’t told CJ about his leg yet. No need to disappoint the boy that his father wasn’t like the other dads. Not that he knew Colton was his dad. Soon. Before the transplant surgery.

  The doctors said it would be sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Way to celebrate the holidays, not that he was one for sentiment anyway.

  The drive home was vastly different than their last ride three days ago. CJ sat in the back by himself chatting up a storm, jumping from one topic to the next. How much he missed his Legos, the stories he’d tell his buddies at school, questions about next year’s summer vacation. Ellie didn’t have a chance to respond to one question before he spat out another.

  “Can I watch a movie?” he asked the second they walked through the door.

  “You’ve watched enough television the past few days to last a lifetime.”

  “Ah, Mom.”

  “I thought you were going to play with your toys,” Ellie reminded him.

  “Oh yeah.” CJ skipped down the hall and out of sight.

  “Well, that was easy.”

  Ellie gasped.

  “I didn’t mean easy easy. This weekend was hard on him. I meant…” Colton waved has hand toward the hall.

  “I know what you meant.” Ellie sounded exhausted. She hadn’t been back to the inn once. Colton had stopped by every day to check on Rachael, who was in her glory having the kitchen to herself. She took care of the Whittakers and he helped her clean their room when they checked out on Sunday.

  There wasn’t a lot of time in between his appointments and therapy sessions so when he had some, he used it wisely, bringing Sadie over to run around and mowing and raking the leaves that had fallen from the trees. Colton followed Ellie to the kitchen, where they were greeted by a vase of flowers and a note.

  Ellie picked it up and read, a smile tugging at her lips. “Your sister is a godsend.” She smelled the yellow flower first and then the rest. “She even made dinners for the week and labeled them in the freezer.”

  “That’s Rachael.”

  They stood in silence, avoiding each other’s gaze. Colton needed some alone time and he could only imagine how much Ellie needed it as well.

  “I’m going to head out and take care of Sadie. I’ll check in with you guys tomorrow.” Colton pulled his keys out of his coat pocket, ready to leave.

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “He’s my son too,” Colton snapped. “Or do you plan on keeping him from me?” He didn’t mean to get into this now, especially with her being so exhausted. He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. Years in the military had trained him not to react but to assess the situation, plan, and execute. He’d done neither. “I’m sorry.”

  “We’ve been through a lot the past few days. Why don’t you come over for dinner tomorrow night?” She shook her head and waved her hand through the air. “No. That won’t work. CJ’s on a limited diet and I don’t want to eat too much in front of him.”

  “How about three? We can have a light snack or something.”

  “We need to figure out how we’re going to tell him…not yet. Not tomorrow, okay? You and I…we need to talk first.”

  “Agreed. He needs to know before the surgery.”

  “I know.”

  “After he goes to bed tomorrow night. We’ll talk then.”

  “Okay.”

  The drive home was lonely and quiet, as was his house. He took a much needed shower and then drove to Luke’s house to pick up Sadie. He could hear her barking before he shut off the engine. She wasn’t much of a barker but tonight she was going crazy, dancing around in circles, wagging her tail in excitement.

  “Hey, girl,” he called when he had two feet on the ground, or rather, a foot and a fake. She knew better than to jump. Sadie was a therapy dog and wouldn’t do anything to hinder his healing. “I missed you, girl.” He scratched behind her ears and along her thick coat while she gave him a good licking.

  “She’s been sad. Kinda mopey. Figured she’d inherited that from you.”

  Colton flipped his brother off and stood, Sadie staying close to his side. “Just depressed that she had to spend the weekend with your sorry ass.”

  “Your dog gets more visitors than I do. Rachael was over every day and Lucy brought her along on her runs. Ma even came over to make sure Sage and I were taking care of her.”

  “That’s because people like her better than you.”

  This time Luke was the one with his finger in the air. “Stay for dinner. I’m taking it out of the oven in a few.”

  “Where’s your apron, Betty Crocker?”

  “Women find cooking very sexy.”

  “I don’t need to toss a salad to look sexy.”

  “You’ve got Sadie. She compliments your ugly mug.”

  Colton wanted to go home and veg out on his nasty couch, but he missed his brother, their easy banter, and could use some brotherly advice.

  “I don’t want to impose.”

  “Sage is out with her sisters. I’m flying solo tonight.”

  He followed his brother up the steps, Sadie trotting faithfully behind. They ate lasagna and bread, Colton passing on the beer Luke offered.

  “Can I ask you something?” He rinsed his plate off in the sink and loaded it in the dishwasher as Luke covered the remaining food in foil.

  “What’s up?”

  Luke had to have known it would be about CJ, but his family hadn’t pressured him for any information after he outed himself at dinner last week.

  “It’s about my son.”

  “You sure you don’t want a beer for this?”

  “He’s the reason I’m declining on the beer.”

  “Sorry, man. I didn’t know you had a drinking problem. I’ll dump out my beer.” Luke tipped his bottle over the sink and Colton shot out a hand to stop him.

  “No. It’s not that. Don’t waste a perfectly good IPA on my account.”

  “You sure?”

  “This is also about where I’ve been for the past few days.”

  “I assumed you went on a drinking binge somewhere.”

  “Does the family think I’m an alcoholic?”

  “Honestly?” Luke wandered into the living room and sat down in his leather recliner. Colton took refuge on the matching sofa, Sadie curled at his feet. “It’s common for vets to fall into depression, alcoholism, drugs and such when they return home. Especially after experiencing something like you did.”

  “I know about the statistics, choir boy. I’ve only had one night of alcoholic debauchery. Every other freaking night I’ve been a saint.” Colton was too stubborn to let any type of substance rule his body. The doctors at the VA were shocked when he declined the pain medicine, even though he hurt like a mother-freaking mountain of agony. Yet after running into Ellie again, he succumbed to the liquid poison. Just once.

  “So what’s going on?”

  “I’ve been in the hospital.” Luke shot out of his chair and Colton appreciated his concern. “Not me. I’m okay.”

  Luke sat back down. “Your kid?”

  “Yeah.” Colton rested his elbows on his knees and held the weight of his head in his hands. Sadie sniffed at his neck. “He has kidney disease.”

  “Man. That sucks. What can the family do to help support you all?”

  If Colton had been a crying man he’d have teared up. Of course his family would be there for him, no questions asked. Relying on them after pushing them away for so many years would be hard.

  “He needs a transplant.”

  “We’ll all get tested to see if we can be a donor.”

  “No need. Already did it. Unless they find
something seriously eff’d up in my kidney, I should qualify.”

  “You were getting tested this weekend?”

  “Yeah. CJ was in the hospital getting pumped full of fluids and meds. While there I met with specialists, filled out shitloads of paperwork, met with more shrinks. The whole deal.”

  Luke leaned forward and set his beer on the coffee table. “That’s very noble of you. You’re going to be a good dad.”

  “I’d be a shit dad if I didn’t. Doesn’t make me noble.”

  “I beg to differ. So what do you need my help with?”

  Headlights flashed through the living room windows and they both stood, as did Sadie.

  “Sage?”

  “Doesn’t sound like her car.”

  “How come I wasn’t invited to the party?” Graham made a grand entrance, a six-pack cradled under his arm.

  “Because you’re an idiot,” Colton quipped.

  Graham’s pretty boy grin took no offense. “Glad to have you back, bro.”

  “I’ve been back, dumbass.”

  “You’ve been different.” Graham popped the top to a beer and held it out for Colton, who declined. “See. Even turning down a good Octoberfest.”

  “Are you going to stand there all night making assumptions or will you shut up for half a second and listen?”

  “He needs to get laid,” Graham said to Luke and tipped his beer back.

  “Getting laid is what put me in this situation,” Colton mumbled.

  “See? I knew it. Girl problems.”

  “Shut the hell up and sit down.” Graham hadn’t changed a bit, still drove Colton nuts. Always happy, always making light of every situation. The man was too cheerful and having a wife like Maggie didn’t help any. She complemented him well. Dropped him down a peg or two. They were sickeningly cute.

  He hadn’t planned to have a heart-to-heart tonight with his brothers. Colton was a private man. Always had been. And now his private life would become extremely public. He was embarrassed telling the nursing staff and doctors to keep CJ’s parentage a secret. Colton grew up being embarrassed of his mom and knew all too well how adults looked at children like him as poor, pathetic souls when they learned the sordid details of their messed-up lives.