Wounded Love (A Rocky Harbor Novel Book 3) Page 15

  And while she’d always dreamed of giving CJ everything he wanted, she realized only days after his birth that love and attention were all any child really needs. Ellie may have had her moments of being a helicopter mom when he was younger, but over the years she’d learned to back off and let CJ struggle to learn. Instead of tying his shoes for him so they’d be out the door faster, she tamped down her urge to help and watched her son make the bunny ears with his laces and fail once, twice, three times until he had his sneakers tied.

  It always took three tries. Even now, three years after he’d learned the bunny ears trick, it took three tries. She planned for this and had him put his shoes on ten minutes before they needed to leave for school and doctor’s visits. Other than those two places, they never had anywhere to go. Money wouldn’t allow it.

  Taking one more glance around CJ’s room, a rush of sentiment rushed through her. His pajamas lay in a heap on the floor, next to his laundry basket, his Star Wars comforter crumpled to the side, his pillow practically hanging off the bed. That’s how he slept: one arm, one leg and his face, his left cheek squished on his pillow, hanging off the bed.

  Love wrapped around her heart so tight she didn’t think she’d be able to breathe.

  “My mom used to get so mad at me when I didn’t make my bed in the morning.” Colton’s soft, deep voice spoke from behind her. “I’d argue that I was going to mess it up later that day anyway at bedtime.”

  Ellie leaned back against his chest and Colton rested his cheek on her head. “He likes Legos, huh?” The vibration from his voice massaged her tightened heart.

  “Obsessed.”

  “Does he play any sports? A fan of any New England teams?”

  “He’s small for his age and for the past year hasn’t had much energy to do anything too physical. I used to play T-ball with him at the park but we never had a backyard so it was hard to play catch and run on a regular basis.”

  The apartments she could afford didn’t come with many amenities. Fresh air and a patch of grass were never in her budget. And by the time she came to Maine, CJ had been so lethargic. “I signed him up for soccer when we moved here and he loved it when he could play. Unfortunately he missed a lot of practices and games. He made some new friends, though.”

  “When he gets better…I’ll teach him to play ball. Any sport he’s interested in.”

  She choked back tears. Yes, he would get better. And he’d learn about his father. And hell or high water, Ellie would make sure he lived up to his Riley status. Her son’s health and happiness were more important than her feelings for Colton.

  Ellie turned and Colton moved his hands to her waist. Their bodies didn’t touch and she needed to keep some sort of distance between them. “I’m sorry again for lashing out at you earlier. I’m an emotional wreck.”

  “Like I said before, no apology necessary.”

  Nodding, she then tilted her head and stared into his now kind eyes. “I’m not ready to tell him about…you. We…you and I need to talk about it before telling him. There’s too much going on for him to deal with—”

  “I may not know how to say what’s on my mind, but I’m not an insensitive asshole.” Colton dropped his hands and stepped back. She read the hurt on his face, in his body language as he sulked down the hallway. He’d shown no sign of distress when she hit him or lashed out on him. Now, though, she’d offended him.

  “That’s not what I meant.” She jogged after him and he shrugged off the reassuring hand she placed on his arm. “Oh, so now the tables are turned. You’re allowed a do-over when you say something stupid but I’m not?”

  “You don’t have a problem with verbal diarrhea.”

  Ellie paused. “You did not just say that.” She couldn’t help the laughter that spilled from her lips. Her eyes watered and she grasped her sides as she bent over with giggles. Silly words like that weren’t supposed to come from a man built like a superhero.

  “See? Nothing I say comes out right.” Mischief danced in his eyes, which was so much better than the pain that she’d witnessed minutes ago. They’d add that offended reaction to their much growing Things to Discuss list.

  Colton’s phone beeped and he slid it out of his pocket. “CJ will be off the bus in ten minutes.”

  Once again he managed to unintentionally throw her inability to take care of her son in her face.

  “I know when he gets off the bus.” Colton had distracted her from spending the past two hours moping and she resented him, yet appreciated it. “I’m sorry.”

  Instead of telling her she didn’t need to apologize, he cocked his head and lifted one brow, his swoon-worthy green eyes sparkling under the kitchen lights.

  “Stop being nice. And stop looking at me with those eyes. I’m trying to hate you.”

  A flash of hurt was quickly erased by a devilish grin. “I’ve heard I have that effect on women.”

  She wanted to know who these women were. Things to Discuss turned into three pages.

  Tamping down the ridiculous jealousy, Ellie rolled her eyes and shoved her feet into her sneakers. “I’ll be right back. I usually meet CJ at the bus stop.”

  “Do you want me to come with you?”

  Ellie hesitated before answering. “I’d like to keep as much of our normal routine as possible. At least for the next hour. I need some time alone with him.” This time she managed to soften her voice and show her guilty feelings for pushing him away.

  “It’s okay. I agree. If you don’t mind, I’m going to stay close. I’ll find some chores to do around the yard.”

  Damn him and his considerate ways.

  “Thank you, Colton. For everything. I didn’t mean all the things I said today.”

  “And here I thought you liked my eyes.”

  Of course he’d let her off easy. Like a true gentleman.

  When CJ stepped off the bus, she did her best not to hug CJ any tighter or longer than usual. Lately he’d been pulling away before she was ready to release him and she’d caught him a time or two wiping off her kisses, claiming he was getting too old for them.

  Never. She’d never stop smothering him with love and affection. CJ would wipe off her kisses and she’d warn him sternly not to wipe them off again or she’d tickle him with no mercy. They played the game every night at bedtime, except for those nights when he’d been too lethargic to play and didn’t bother wiping off the kisses. That’s when she knew something was wrong. He didn’t wipe off kisses when he was sick or overtired. Only when he was in a good mood.

  “Guess what I have in the oven?” Ellie didn’t reach down for his hand anymore, knowing he didn’t want the older kids on the bus to tease him.

  This past summer at the grocery store he had said, “I’m not a baby anymore. I don’t have to hold your hand in the parking lot.” Her heart stopped for a moment only to realize her baby was growing up.

  Thankfully he still enjoyed her kisses and tickles at bedtime, but she knew those would soon start to phase out as well. Not now, though. She still needed these special moments, even if CJ felt that he didn’t.

  “Pizza?” he guessed.

  “Nope.”

  “What else do you put in the oven besides smoke?”

  “Very funny, wise guy.” He was one hundred percent correct, her son. “I guess you don’t want the extra cheesy nachos I made.”

  “Yes!” CJ jumped up, his backpack bouncing along with him.

  “Wash your hands before you eat,” she called after him as he ran up the steps to the Inn.

  The Inn. She’d completely forgotten about her weekend guests. An unfamiliar car with New Jersey license plates was parked up front. They must have pulled in while she was at the bus stop.

  Scolding herself for being so forgetful, Ellie jogged up the steps and prayed her guests hadn’t been annoyed at the delay. She’d need to call Rachael to look after them for the weekend.

  Ellie found them in the blueberry room, a cup of warm tea in the woman’s—presumably Mrs
. Whittaker’s—hand, a cold beer in her Mr. Whittaker’s. Had they helped themselves to the kitchen already? While she had an open door—open kitchen—policy with her guests, it was quite audacious for them to help themselves before officially checking in.

  “I’m sorry to keep you waiting. I was down the road picking up my son from the bus stop.”

  “No worries,” Mr. Whittaker beamed. “Colton took good care of us.”

  Ellie turned at the sound of heavy footsteps. “I didn’t know which room to bring their bags.”

  “Oh.” The man was a wonder. “The Perkins Cove room, please.” Colton raised an eyebrow. Of course he wouldn’t know which room that was. “Top of the stairs. Third door on the left,” she whispered.

  He winked and picked up the luggage stacked at the bottom of the stairs.

  Returning her attention to her guests, she asked, “Do you have evening plans or would you like some recommendations?”

  “We’ve been on the road all day. A warm meal and soft bed is all we need tonight. Tomorrow we’ll be gone all day at our nephew’s wedding.”

  “I’ll show you to your rooms,” Colton offered.

  Ellie cast him a thankful expression and headed down the hall to join CJ in the kitchen. He’d already made quite the dent in the platter of nachos. Colton had them set out on the island next to a stack of paper plates and napkins.

  “These are the bestest.” CJ hadn’t even taken off his winter coat yet.

  “Did you eat your lunch today?” She unzipped his backpack and dug out his lunch box. The yogurt and granola bar were gone and, in typical CJ fashion, his sandwich remained.

  “I ate the good stuff.”

  “Turkey and cheese is your favorite sandwich.”

  “I don’t like the brown bread.”

  “The multi-grain bread has more flavor.”

  “White is better.”

  “I have to agree with your mother.”

  CJ shoved another handful of chips in his mouth and looked up, way up, at Colton’s tall frame.

  “You’re the other Colton.”

  “Yup.” He snagged a few chips and crunched them as he pulled out a bar stool to sit. “What’s wrong with this sandwich?” he asked, taking it from Ellie’s hand.

  “It has green leaves in it too. It tastes like trees.”

  Colton unwrapped the warm sandwich and shoved nearly half of it in his mouth. After chewing and swallowing, he nodded in approval. “This is an awesome sandwich. You know what will make it better though?” CJ shrugged. “Crunch.” Colton placed a few chips in between the bread and bit into it, smiling in appreciation.

  “Can you put chips in my sandwich too, Mom?”

  Well, heck. She looked from CJ’s similar green eyes, following a trail of nachos from the tray to his chin, to Colton, his hair ruffled from the outside wind, chip crumbs littering the front of his Marines sweatshirt. Her ovaries burst in lust and adoration and…crap.

  Love.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Colton

  Something drastic changed in Ellie’s demeanor. Sure, she’d been pulling a Sybil in the worst way today, only understandable after the shock of CJ’s diagnosis.

  But in the comfort of her kitchen, the three of them snacking around the center island, laughing like the world wasn’t dark and gray on the outside, Colton nearly forgot about all the other shit swirling around. From the softness in Ellie’s eyes, he could tell she too had pushed aside the harsh realities of life for a few minutes.

  And then the veil came crashing down again. They couldn’t put off the inevitable any longer. Nodding the go ahead, Colton moved closer to Ellie, offering her his support.

  “Slow down a minute and take your coat off. Nah, uh.” Ellie stopped CJ as he was about to drop his coat on the floor. “In the closet.”

  CJ rolled his eyes like a typical nine-year-old kid was trained to do and dragged his feet to the coat rack at the other end of the long country-style kitchen.

  Colton cupped Ellie’s cheeks with both his hands. “You can do this.” The urge to lean down and kiss her lips nearly overtook common sense. Flicking his gaze at his son—their son—rushing back towards them to finish his snack, Colton settled for eyeing her lips. Soon he’d touch them with his mouth again.

  When CJ returned to his stool, Ellie reached out and stroked his hair. He tilted his head away, defending his snack, thinking his mom was trying to scoff one of his chips. “I’m not a baby anymore.” His eyes rolled around his head as if Ellie was a crazy lady not realizing how mature he was. The kid was trying to show off for Colton. That pleased him.

  “So you’ve said. And since you’re not a little boy any more, I need to have a big boy talk with you.”

  “Mo-om. I’m not going to talk to you about my girlfriends.”

  Colton nearly choked on his chip. “You have a girlfriend?”

  “No. Gross. But they all like me and want to go out with me or marry me and stuff. Brady has a girlfriend and he wants to kiss her. That’s disgusting.”

  “Girls aren’t disgusting, but I think you’re doing the smart thing by waiting for the right one to come along.”

  CJ nodded in agreement, giving his mom the brush off. “Girls are annoying.”

  “No offense taken,” Ellie murmured, a smile tugging at her lips.

  “But they’re worth the trouble.” Colton winked at CJ as if sharing an inside joke. The boy beamed at him and for an instant, he saw a piece of himself smiling back.

  “CJ, we need to talk about the report your doctor gave me today.”

  “I don’t want to go back for more blood tests. They hurt.” His little lip turned down, his eyes watering up with fear.

  Poor kid. Ellie hugged him tight. “I know, honey. They’re no fun.”

  “Promise I don’t have to have any more needles or blood. Can’t I just keep peeing in a cup?”

  “Peeing in a cup is way better than a blood test,” Colton agreed.

  Ellie’s head snapped back at him, making him grimace in shame. Guess that wasn’t the smartest thing to say.

  “Honey.” Ellie returned her attention to CJ. “Dr. Duffy thinks he knows what’s been making you so tired, and giving you belly aches and headaches. He’s going to give you some special medicine to make it feel better.”

  “I don’t like the bubble gum flavor medicine. Can you ask for the grape?”

  Colton’s heart clenched. He didn’t know whether to keep butting in or let Ellie deal with the innocent boy.

  “It’s very special medicine they have to give you in the hospital. Dr. Duffy was concerned because you’re so young, but I promised him you’d be brave.”

  “It’s okay to be scared though. When I was in in the hospital I was scared shi—” Colton stopped himself. He’d need to clean up his language if he’d be spending time with CJ. “I was really, really scared. You can be brave and scared at the same time.”

  “Why were you in the hospital?” CJ’s sad and frightened eyes looked his way.

  Ellie’s face drained of color. She knew about his leg, even though she’d never seen it. Most of his damage was below the waist, but he had his share of scars on his upper body that she might have caught a glimpse of when they were making love. Those didn’t bother him as much as his stump.

  “I was in the military and the bad guys tossed a bomb at me and my squad.” CJ’s eyes grew wide as he leaned in with interest. “I was in the hospital for a long time. Almost a year.”

  “Did you kill the bad guys?”

  “CJ,” Ellie admonished.

  “Not at first. They’ve been taken care of since, though.”

  “Did you cry?”

  No, he hadn’t allowed himself to shed a tear. Not until last week when he’d discovered a bigger bombshell than the casing of the grenade still embedded in his thigh. “I cried a lot on the inside.”

  “Did your mom stay with you?” The kid was getting a little too personal. Colton needed to steer the conversation back to
him.

  “Unfortunately I was on the other side of the world. You’re pretty lucky though. Your mom will get to stay with you as long as you want. If she gets annoying with all those hugs and kisses you can let me know. I don’t mind hanging out with you as well.”

  “Mom?” CJ turned back towards Ellie, who had an unreadable expression on her face. If their son wasn’t in the room Colton was sure she’d be pounding her fists into his chest again. Or hugging him with gratitude. He hadn’t a clue. “Am I going to be there a long time?”

  “Dr. Duffy said hopefully just a few days. I’ll be by your side every second. Promise.”

  His little lip quivered. “Can I sleep in my own bed?”

  “They’re going to have a special bed just for you.”

  “Can I bring Sock Monkey?”

  “I already have him packed, sweetie.”

  “Can I hold him in the car?”

  “We can do better than that,” Colton interrupted. “How about I drive and your mom can even sit in the back seat with you and Sock Monkey?”

  “You’re going to come too?”

  “If you want me to. Or I can leave after I drop you off. It’s your call.”

  “I don’t know.” CJ climbed up into Ellie’s lap and buried his face in her neck.

  It was killing him and they hadn’t even made it to the hospital yet. The lump in his throat must have blocked his passageway because he could feel his eyes welling up. Damn, he hunted down terrorists for a living, endured the most intense training the military offered. Colton Riley didn’t cry.

  “I’ll bring your bag to the truck and wait for you outside.” Grateful to be out of there, once outside he gulped in the cold, crisp air filling up his depleted chest. Women and children. Man’s biggest Achilles heel.

  Colton had the truck warmed up and the music low while he waited for them. It wasn’t long before the front door opened, Ellie carrying CJ in her arms. Only a few hours ago he’d had to carry her in. The woman had heart and strength. She reminded him of his mother.

  His family would want to meet their newest relative soon. Not now, though. Not while CJ was so weak and vulnerable. One step at a time. He didn’t get out to help Ellie, understanding she’d want to be as close to their son as possible. She set CJ on the seat and he scooted over to the other side so she could sit behind Colton.