Wounded Love (A Rocky Harbor Novel Book 3) Read online

  The shrapnel that had destroyed his nerves and mutilated his calf and foot beyond repair and other details didn’t matter. Colton didn’t care what the doctors tried to do while he was in a coma. He didn’t care about statistics and therapies and treatments. They’d taken his goddamned leg and he’d never be whole again.

  It wasn’t until a week later that he’d even speak to anyone. Dozens of therapists and nurses and counselors and specialists visited him. Tossed around acronyms like PTSD, BKA, FIM scores.

  BKA was his favorite. As if someone looking at him couldn’t tell he was a Below the Knee Amputee. And how the hell could they diagnose him with PTSD if he hadn’t even talked to anyone? He soon learned the only way to get out of the hospital was to work on his FIM scores. He didn’t know what the hell it stood for, but he overheard the nurses use it in connection with how much effort he put forth during physical therapy so he dubbed it Fuck It, Man.

  Some days he cared. Most he didn’t.

  Realizing he’d zoned out on the doctor, he interrupted, using Ellie as an excuse. “This is a lot to process. We’ll go over the paperwork and have CJ at the hospital by five.”

  “On the back of the pamphlet is a list of numbers. There are a few suggestions for family therapists you may find useful.”

  As if. He’d seen his share since he was a kid not much older than CJ. “Thanks.” He’d been sitting too long and his leg had cramped. Colton rubbed his thigh as he tried to break Ellie out of her trance.

  “Come on, honey. We need to get CJ.” They still had plenty of time before he got off the bus. Hopefully she’d snap out of it or she’d scare the boy to death.

  “Oh. Okay.” Ellie blinked rapidly and let out a low, sad moan.

  Letting go of her hand so he could use the back of the couch for support, he pushed himself to standing and shook out his legs. When he thought he could support Ellie, he gripped under her biceps and pulled her to her feet. She would have left without her purse if the doctor hadn’t handed it over to him.

  “You can go in through the main entrance. I’ll have a room ready for him.”

  Nodding his acknowledgement, he shuffled Ellie out the door and down the hall. Once they made it to her car, he pawed through her purse until he found her keys and opened the passenger side for her. He buckled her up and placed a kiss on the top of her head before closing the door.

  Colton wasn’t capable of taking care of a woman and a child. Hell, he couldn’t even take care of himself. She needed to come around fast and once she did, the rage and anger would set in. That needed to come out before CJ got home. Time was not in their favor.

  He unlocked the driver’s side door and frowned at the small space. How the hell was a six-foot, two-hundred-ten pound man supposed to fit behind the wheel? He found the knobs to move the seat back and waited for it to slide as far as possible before cramming his long frame in the space.

  Hell, his knees rammed into the dashboard. God help them if they got into an accident. The EMTs would need the jaws of life to extract him from the front car. Somehow he made it back to the Inn and unloaded his faint cargo.

  She didn’t protest when he carried her into the house. It was a killer on his stub but the woman wouldn’t have made it inside on her own. After laying her on the couch in her private quarters, he headed back to the kitchen to pour her a glass of water and find her a snack. She most likely skipped breakfast and it was well past lunch.

  Ignoring the growling in his stomach, he found a stash of Rachael’s muffins and snagged two blueberry. By the time he returned to the living room Ellie had moved to a sitting position and some color spotted her cheeks.

  “Here.” He handed her a muffin and the water.

  “You think I can eat knowing my baby could die?” She swatted the food away and it hit the floor, rolling under the chair on the other side of the room.

  Here it comes. He’d give her twenty minutes and then he’d have to rein her in to get ready for CJ.

  “You don’t know me. You don’t know my son. How dare you step in and try to be the hero. Where were you when I was in my twentieth hour of labor? Or every time I had to bring CJ in for his vaccinations? He hates needles. I hate needles.”

  Colton set the water on the end table before she made a mess of that as well.

  “And his doctor’s appointments. Do you know how many times I had to cancel a shift so I could drag my poor baby, puking and lethargic, to the hospital? And the bills.” Ellie’s shoulder knocked his as she paced. “It took me two years to pay off the hospital bill from when I delivered him and every year after has gotten worse and worse.”

  She picked up a pile of Legos from the table and slammed them in the big bucket in the corner. “Legos. This is all he ever asks for. My boy is sweet and kind and funny. He knows I don’t have a lot of money and never asks for anything more than a new little Lego dude.” She held a tiny figurine to her face and smiled for a second before she scrunched her mouth in anger.

  “And now he has to endure poking and prodding and they’re going to take out his freaking kidney!” She slapped her hand across Colton’s chest and he didn’t budge, letting her do whatever she needed to do to process.

  “They’re going to hook him up to tubes and wires and monitor him every ten minutes. He won’t get to sleep through the night or cuddle with his sock monkey or play on the floor, building Lego machines and crashing them against the wall.” She pounded him on the chest with both fists, tears making paths of despair down her cheeks.

  “I won’t have to worry about stepping on plastic pieces of broken Lego bits with bare feet and biting back curses because once again CJ didn’t pick up after himself after going to bed. He’ll be trapped in a hospital bed and if he’s lucky, he’ll get his kidney ripped out of his torso, carrying a scar for life and praying he doesn’t have kidney failure again. That is, if you’re even a match.”

  Ellie clenched her eyes and pushed her fists into his chest. Colton used his core to hold himself up straight or he’d have fallen on his ass, taking Ellie with him. There had to be a myriad of emotions swirling in her head. Not only was she angry at the disease, he knew she was also angry at Colton for not being there when she’d needed a support system. She’d so much as blamed him for leaving her high and dry.

  Which he had. Only it wasn’t his fault. Now, however, wasn’t the time to talk to Ellie about it.

  He couldn’t do anything to erase the past but he’d be there for her now.

  “And if you’re a match, you’ll be his hero for life. Not his mother who nurtured him, fed him, supported him, loved him for his entire life. I can’t donate blood for CJ, did you know that? No, of course you wouldn’t. You know nothing about us.”

  He understood her guilt over not being a match for CJ. If he wasn’t O-negative he’d feel the same. Colton also understood her annoyance with him for coming in and hopefully saving the day, but they hadn’t confirmed him as a kidney match for CJ. Now was not the time to bring up that possibility either. Let her think and hope that it was. He wouldn’t take that from her.

  “I hate you, Colton James Riley. I hate you for letting me fall in love with you. I hate you for abandoning us. But I’ll never hate you for CJ. He’s my life. And I can’t…I can’t lose him.” Unable to stand on her two legs anymore, Ellie fell into Colton’s chest.

  Wrapping her in his arms, he held her tight, letting her soak his shirt with her tears. They had a lot to talk about; why she thought he’d abandoned her when it was the other way around. Her father’s lies. His future with CJ. Possibly with her.

  When CJ showed signs of improvement they’d sit down and discuss what happened back then, figure out a plan for their future. Whether she wanted him to or not, he’d be a part of his son’s life.

  History would not repeat itself. He knew all too well what it felt like to be without a father. Keith’s instant acceptance of him as his son before the adoption was even legal would be a day he’d never forget.

  DHS had
introduced him to his new foster family. Doreen hugged him tight against her until he thought he’d suffocate. When she finally let go, Keith’s brown eyes softened and he put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Welcome to the family, son. I hope you don’t mind having two brothers and a sister, and a mother who likes to give a dozen hugs a day and can bake the best blueberry pie you’ve ever tasted. And me? Well, I’m gonna need a lot of help around the place. We’ve got animals that need tending to and projects Doreen likes to pan out on the men in the house. She’ll make you do your homework and stuff you with cookies after school, and then you’ll be stuck with Luke and me, doing man’s work.” He winked and Colton instantly felt like part of the family.

  “Oh please. Man’s work. Don’t let him fool you, Colton. He Graham and Luke spend more time goofing off than getting any real work done.”

  “Fishing is real work. It puts food on the table.” Keith ruffled Colton’s hair as he stood back up, keeping a firm but gentle grasp on his shoulder. Even though he was a freshman in high school, he didn’t mind the affection from his new parents. He couldn’t remember the last time an adult gave him so much.

  And just like that, he was family.

  Could he do the same for CJ? Could he take him under his wing and make him feel like a son, a welcomed part of his family as well?

  The irony of the situation was not lost on Colton. While he hadn’t shared a drop of blood with the Rileys, he’d always felt like they were his parents, and the siblings they’d taken in were his blood siblings. Where CJ really was his flesh and blood and he didn’t feel a connection yet. And if the boy carried his kidney, they’d be extra tight.

  Right?

  Chapter Thirteen

  Ellie

  It was all too much, too soon. Ellie could barely handle the overload of information dumped in her lap, how the heck would CJ process it? She started her day a nervous wreck and only a few hours later was a basket case of a mess trapped in Colton’s arms, soaking up his warmth and comfort of his chest.

  The past few hours were a blur. Rachael would have been a good sounding board and Ellie was furious at her friend for setting her up this way, but the woman had a good heart and good intentions. With the sudden changes in her personal life and CJ’s medical diagnosis, Ellie didn’t know what she’d have done if Colton wasn’t there to hold her hand, interpret the medical jargon for her, and literally carry her into her home. He’d been her anchor, even if only for a few hours.

  Embarrassed at her fifty signs of weakness, she gently shoved against his hard chest, thankful when he dropped his arms and allowed her to step away.

  “I’m sorry for attacking you.”

  “No apology needed.”

  “You’ve been very kind and all I’ve done is beat you up.” Verbally and physically. Ellie blushed at her earlier actions.

  “No offense, honey, but I’d hardly call your tap on my chest beating up.” He crinkled his eyes and held up his hands in defense as if pretending to be nervous of her smacking him again.

  “Your chest is made of steal. If anything I’ll have bruises on my hands. I suppose it serves me right.”

  Colton’s long legs moved toward her, invading her space. He picked up her hands and turned them around, caressing her skin with his fingers, sending tingles up and down her arm. “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

  The gentleness in his voice and touch was too much to handle. Once again she found her heart softening when she should be upset with him for…her head hurt from trying to remember the million reasons she needed to hate him.

  “Can we please focus on CJ?” Ellie didn’t mean to sound like a snot. Colton had been nothing but kind and caring. And that’s what irked her. He had no right to be the stable one here. He was the messed up one. The one with anger and abandonment issues and relationship issues and PTSD.

  “What time does he get off the bus?” Colton picked up a glass and offered it to her.

  Ellie accepted it and drank nearly the entire thing before handing it back to him. “Three.”

  Colton tilted his wrist to read his watch. “That gives us an hour. What’s his favorite snack to eat when he gets home?”

  Shouldn’t she be the one thinking about these things?

  “Nachos.”

  Once again he had a look of simple pleasure on his face. One day she’d ask him about it, for it had been too long since she’d seen such a relaxed expression from Colton. Today was not that day. The tidal wave of anger and rage rose through her body again. He shouldn’t be eliciting smiles when her son’s life was on the line.

  “Get out of my way.” Ellie shoved past him and fled down the hall to the kitchen, slamming cabinet doors open and closed in search of a bag of tortilla chips. She always had them on hand. Chips and salsa were an easy and quick snack to keep in the front room for her guests.

  Finding an open bag, she dumped the remains on a tray and whipped open the refrigerator hunting for some cheese.

  “Can I help?” His deep baritone startled her.

  “You can leave.” Her annoyance flared and her body locked up with rage. She was CJ’s mother. He spent nine months in her womb and thousands of hours in her arms. Hundreds of sleepless nights, thousands of dollars in doctor’s visits, and millions of hours of worry and stress and anxiety as a single mom and Colton had the audacity to casually ask if she needed help?

  Of course she needed help. Nine years ago. Five years ago. Last spring when she moved to Maine. Where was he then?

  Colton shoved his hands deep in his pockets and rested his hip against the counter. “You should pack an overnight bag for yourself as well. I’m sure you’ll want to stay with CJ.”

  “Don’t tell me what to do.” Ellie dumped three times the amount of cheese necessary over the chips and tossed the tray in the oven. He had no right to be so calm and steady. CJ was his son too. Colton should be pacing, angry at the world, at God for giving his son this terrible kidney disease.

  Her smacking, her pissy attitude, her bitchiness, none of them seemed to have any effect on the man. Of course he was made of stone. Not only in flesh but in heart as well. He wasn’t capable of showing emotion. How could she think he’d actually fall in love with CJ…with her?

  Colton Riley loved no one. Not even himself.

  “You know that broccoli in the teeth question I asked you a few weeks ago?”

  Ellie’s head snapped around, glaring at him. Of course she remembered. She remembered every sweet, stumbling word that came out of his mouth. Every touch. The long, passionate kisses in his truck. He had the audacity to bring up their date when her son could possibly be dying? Did he expect her to drop her panties and do him on the counter before CJ got home? She hated the blush that once again crept up her neck.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “It’s the makeup thing.”

  “I’m not even wearing makeup today.” Ellie knew she wouldn’t like what the doctor was going to say and didn’t want to risk another embarrassing mascara disaster. She rarely wore anything on her face anyway. No one to impress, a child to care for and an inn to clean, who needed face paint?

  “You’re beautiful with or without makeup. That’s not the issue.”

  “There’s an issue?” Of course there was. She had to break the news to her precious child that he’d be heading to the hospital after he had his afternoon snack and Colton wanted to have sex.

  “With your face.”

  Ellie gasped, her mouth hanging open like an unattractive monkey.

  “That didn’t come out right.”

  “You think?”

  Colton averted his gaze and let out a sigh. “You look like you’ve been crying.”

  “I have been crying.” Jackass. She must not have muttered the last. Colton’s lips twitched before he centered them again.

  “Why don’t you grab a shower or a bath or something? Take a few moments for yourself before CJ gets home. You’re going to be spending a lot of time in the hospital.”<
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  “So now you’re telling me not only am I ugly, but I smell too?”

  Shaking his head, Colton raked his hands across his face in defeat. “Ellie. You’re gorgeous. Wearing baggy jeans and an oversized sweatshirt or buck naked. It doesn’t really matter. And even smelling like puke and laundry detergent, the lemons in your hair and on your skin overpower them all. You’ll always be beautiful and smell and taste good. You can’t help it.”

  “I have lemons in my hair?”

  “I didn’t mean it that way.”

  She knew that but she couldn’t let him know how much his words affected her. It was the most romantic thing anyone had ever said to her, and she hated that Colton dusted these words on her like a fairy godmother when she should be concentrating on CJ.

  “I’m going to pack. Feel free to let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.” Your perfectly beautiful, carved-of-stone ass.

  She heard him chuckle at her retreating back. She turned to toss another wiseass remark his way but stopped when she spotted him poking at the dials on the oven.

  Crap. She forgot to turn it on. Chances were she’d burn down the Inn if she did anyway. Maybe she did need Colton Riley around a little bit longer.

  After a quick shower, Ellie threw on a pair of yoga pants, opting for comfort over fashion as always, a sports bra, knowing most likely she wouldn’t be changing her undergarments for a few days, and a long sweater. She tossed a few basic toiletries in a backpack and went down to CJ’s room to do the same.

  She packed his sock monkey, a few pair of clean underwear, some socks, his Ninjago Legoman slippers, a toothbrush, and a small box of Legos in the bag. If Ellie had gone to the hospital as a kid, the Fairfields would make sure she had a private hospital suite and wore her silk pajamas. Ellie and CJ, however, were simple people, very different from her lavish lifestyle growing up.