Wounded Love (A Rocky Harbor Novel Book 3) Page 12

  With Sadie at his feet and Graham’s truck lights fading through the windows, Colton finally let the weight of tonight’s revelation sink in.

  He was a dad. Hell, that was too strong a word to use. He’d fathered a child.

  And the kid was growing up without a dad. Just like he had for the first fifteen years of his life.

  Life had a piss poor way of repeating itself.

  Chapter Eleven

  Colton

  A thirty-year-old man shouldn’t be afraid of his mother, but Colton was. Doreen Riley was not a woman you let down. If you gave her your word that you’d be at the family dinner, even if life had thrown grenades at your every turn for the past few days, you dodged them and worked like hell to make it to her dinner table on time.

  On time didn’t have to mean early. Pulled pork could sit in the Crock-Pot a few extra minutes. She’d said dinner was at six, so at precisely five fifty-nine Colton pulled into her driveway. He knew he’d get shit from Rachael and Graham about giving them the brush off all weekend and didn’t need to spend any extra time hearing their grief. Rachael was friends with Ellie and would side with her, whatever that meant. And Graham had his nuts twisted in marital bliss, so Maggie’s therapist side would convince him to talk Colton off whatever ledge she thought he was on.

  Hell, Colton’s head hurt imagining the conversations happening behind his back. Granted, Graham and Rachael had tried to have them to his face. Yesterday Luke had used his spare key to let himself in to the trailer and clean up the stink. He hadn’t said anything to Colton as he sprawled on the couch, still in Friday’s workout gear, empty beer bottles and frozen dinners boxes littering the few surfaces he had.

  Sadie had gotten into a box of Frosted Flakes and had cleaned up most of the spilled cereal off the floor, but a trail of flakes had covered the counters. Luke hadn’t talked to Colton, hadn’t even nudged his feet out of the way as he’d vacuumed the living room. Didn’t chastise him for not flushing or for leaving the lid to the toilet seat up.

  Another rule Doreen had instilled in her four boys. She’d fallen into the toilet too many times in the middle of the night and made some serious threats about cleaning duties and a no-girlfriend rule if she ever found the seat up again.

  The military had also instilled copious cleanliness and tidiness in Colton. He was neat to a fault, which was why living in a rusted trailer made him feel like he had the cooties or something. No matter how much he’d cleaned, the place still looked like a dump.

  Lucy hadn’t bothered him, but he didn’t trust her to keep her distance once he stepped foot in the house. The girl couldn’t read personal codes if they stared her in the face. Which was what he did when she opened the front door to his mom’s house for him.

  “Hey, stranger. You’re all the talk amongst the sibs. But I haven’t a clue what they’re not saying. What did ya do now?”

  Colton had perfected the expressionless stare-down. His fire team, his dead fire team, used to joke that he could kill a man with his eyes. Lucy, however, didn’t seem fazed.

  “You’re too pretty to be scary.” When he didn’t react, she rolled her eyes and ushered him in. “I’ll find out what’s going on eventually.”

  Yeah, she would. Maybe Colton would as well. He hadn’t done much thinking over the past seventy-two hours. Once he got his anger out, he’d pretty much zoned. Shut his brain off and refused to think of anything. Of the physical and mental pain and rejection. Of Ellie. Of his son.

  “Colton. I’m so happy to see you.” Doreen came around the corner, a floral apron tied around her waist, a huge smile on her face. “You’re getting skinny. We’ll just need to have more family meals to keep that meat on your bones.”

  “Hi, Ma.” Colton kissed his mom’s cheek and received her hug. Skinny wasn’t a word anyone would use to describe him. It was Doreen’s tactic in ordering more family meals. They all knew her tricks. No one would call her on them though.

  “Since you got out of setting the table, you’re on dish duty,” Graham teased.

  It wasn’t a fair trade, but doing the dishes after dinner would keep him busy and away from family chatter.

  “Hey, big brother.” Rachael wrapped him in a tight hug, which he barely reciprocated, while Jake, Maggie, Sage, and Luke gave him sad smiles. They all knew. Probably not his mom, though. Doreen would have said something by now.

  “Maggie, you can start.” Doreen placed the bowl of green beans on the kitchen table next to two large Crock-Pots of pulled pork. A giant basket overflowing with Rachael’s famous biscuits sat next to it. Oven roasted potatoes, a garden salad, and homemade cranberry apple chutney filled the table.

  When there were a lot of Rileys home for dinner they usually served themselves buffet style in the kitchen and carried their plates to the dining room. Colton waited until everyone had grabbed a plate and brought up the rear. Eat, do the dishes, and run, that was his plan.

  Eventually he’d have to figure out what his next plan would be. Doreen needed to know she was a grandmother. She’d spoil the kid, that was for sure. Colton didn’t know why Ellie’s parents weren’t in the picture. She alluded to their estrangement but he didn’t know the whole story.

  The poor kid had grown up with no family. It was exactly the situation he’d promised himself would never happen to any child of his. He’d promised himself he’d care for his child and make sure they always knew they were loved. And abortion was never on the table. He had made himself perfectly clear on that.

  Which was what killed him that early September morning when Thomas Fairfield had told Colton Ellie went to have an abortion. The bastard had tried to hustle him out of Ellie’s life. When they met up again, there’d be hell to pay.

  After he filled his plate, Colton sat in the only open seat, in between Rachael and his mother. Normally his siblings would be teasing, one-upping and arguing about meaningless crap. Tonight, however, there was awkward conversation.

  They were nearly done with their meal when Doreen set down her fork with an uncharacteristically loud clank and reprimanded everyone around table. “I don’t know what’s going on with you kids, but someone better start talking. It’s one thing when one or two of you are keeping a secret, but you’re all walking on egg shells tonight.”

  She made eye contact with each of her children and even gave her son-in-law and daughters-in-law the stink eye. “Graham hasn’t made one joke. Sage hasn’t said anything about Luke’s stain on his shirt. Rachael hasn’t heckled any of you boys once. Colton hasn’t dropped the F-bomb.” Lucy chuckled and Rachael kicked her. “Lucy is even quiet tonight. No one is getting Rachael’s German chocolate cake until I know what has my children acting like…strangers.”

  Colton stared at the condensation on his water glass and toyed with his salad. Rachael reached under the table and squeezed his leg. He lifted his head and took in the faces around the table. They all avoided looking his way, making it even more obvious the secret was his to tell.

  Doreen continued to eye each of her children. When her gaze reached his, her expression softened with compassion. He couldn’t keep this from her, the anchor in his life.

  “You have a grandson,” he blurted out. Shock filled his mother’s face. “I have a son.”

  Saying it out loud didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would. Rachael patted his leg and then laced her fingers in his.

  Doreen’s lips spread into a grin that took over her face. “I have a grand baby? When did this happen?”

  Colton cleared his throat and lowered his gaze. “Nine years ago.”

  His mother’s gasp had him looking up again. “Nine…where…where is he?”

  He scrubbed his free hand over his face and did his best to ignore the seven other people giving him the stare down.

  “Here. In Rocky Harbor. I didn’t know until, well, until a few days ago.”

  “Oh, honey.” Doreen pushed her chair back with her legs and stood over him, caressing his face like she used to do when h
e was younger and woke with nightmares. “You’ll be a wonderful father.”

  He shook his head. Of course she’d say that. It was the obligatory thing for a mother to say. A good father would have picked up on the similarities in his son, questioned the woman who had been pregnant with his child. No, Colton had taken the easy way out and ignored any personal conversations with Ellie.

  Sex. He kept their relationship centered around sex and hadn’t let any emotions into the mix. Or at least that’s what he told himself.

  If he was a good father he would have welcomed CJ with open arms the moment he realized the boy was his. He’d leap for joy that Ellie didn’t go through the abortion as he’d been told. He’d try to make up for every lost minute, get to know him, toss a ball around.

  Instead Colton drove home like a coward, took refuge in his rusted tin can.

  “Tell me about him,” Doreen pleaded.

  Colton shoved back his chair and picked up his plate. “I can’t.” He picked up his mother’s plate and Rachael’s, even though she was still picking at her dinner. In the kitchen he scraped the plates, rinsed them, and loaded them in the dishwasher.

  Filling up the sink with hot, sudsy water, Colton got to work on the grimiest of dishes first.

  “Honey. Can we talk?” Doreen laid a hand on his shoulder and he shook his head. “This must have come as a surprise to you.”

  He gave her a quick nod and reached for the next pot.

  “That’s a lot to take on so fast. You’re still healing physically and finding your way back into society. Finding out you have a son only complicates your life even more. We Rileys don’t do things the easy way. Look at your brothers and sisters. I’ve never met a Riley who couldn’t tackle a challenge head on and win. You’ll figure out what to do next, and when you do, I’ll be right here for you. Always.” She drew his head down so she could kiss his cheek and patted his arm before leaving the kitchen and giving him his space.

  There was no doubt whatever he’d do next would be a challenge. But what did it mean to win in this situation?

  ***

  Ellie

  Five days of guilt weighed down her belly, the acid churning in the pit of her stomach interfering with every meal and every night’s sleep. Murphy’s Law sucked. Ellie had been prepared to tell Colton about CJ Friday night and luck would have it that he found out before she could break the news to him.

  Talking with Maggie had eased most of her nervousness. Her new friend helped her craft phrases so Colton wouldn’t feel betrayed by her secret. Besides the shock of seeing him after so long, her first priority was CJ and his physical and mental wellbeing. It meant keeping Colton in the dark while she assessed his physical and mental wellbeing as well. If Colton cared about their son’s feelings he too would understand her hesitancy to drop such a bombshell so soon into their reuniting.

  Ellie slid a laundry basket in front of the dryer and opened the door. Warm, white, fluffy towels came tumbling out. Laundry seemed never-ending in her job, but she’d never tire of the smell of clean linens. She looked forward to the summer months when she could hang the sheets and towels on the line down at the back of the yard.

  With the Norman Rockwell image stamped in her mind, she folded the towels and shuffled them up the stairs to hang in each of the guest bathrooms. There hadn’t been any guests this week and she only had one couple booked for the weekend. The lull gave her plenty of time to bring CJ to his specialist appointments and too much time to think about Colton.

  She wasn’t the only one at fault here. If he hadn’t taken off less than a week after she told him she was pregnant, never to be seen again, he would have been part of CJ’s life. The fact that he was surprised by his presence, that CJ was his son, still confused her. Granted, she’d lied to him last month telling him CJ was a year younger than he actually was. Still, had Colton truly cared about their unborn child he would have asked.

  Once again the guilt was chased away by anger. How dare he treat her like the villain when he’d abandoned her and their unborn baby? After shoving the rest of the towels in the linen closet, she slammed the door closed and plodded down the stairs.

  The ringing of her cell phone shouldn’t have made her jump, but the quietness of the Inn had her out of sorts. Normally Rachael could be heard in the kitchen in the morning, guests checking out in the afternoon, and CJ’ making noises in their living room while playing with Legos or his video games.

  Ellie dropped the empty basket at the bottom of the stairs and pulled her cell phone out of her pocket, not recognizing the number on the screen.

  “Hello?”

  “Ms. Fairfield?”

  “Speaking.”

  “This is Lou Anne from Doctor Duffy’s office.”

  Her heart sunk before finding its way back to her chest and beginning to beat erratically. Ellie lowered herself to the bottom step and braced herself for the news. Dr. Duffy had been amazing, listening to her concerns about CJ’s health, taking her seriously when she mentioned some of the diseases she’d researched online. There were plenty of hypochondriacs out there who probably came into the office on regular occasions claiming to have this or that, annoying the stuffing out of doctors, but Dr. Duffy didn’t make her feel like one of them.

  “Hello, Lou Anne. Do you have news about CJ’s blood work?”

  There was a moment of silence on the other end before the woman responded. “Dr. Duffy would like you to come in to go over the test results.”

  “Okay. CJ gets out of school at three. We can come in after he gets off the bus.”

  “Actually…” The woman paused. “He’d like you to come alone. To discuss options without CJ in the room.”

  Ellie’s hand began to shake and the room spun around her. “Oh…okay.” The woman on the other end gave her some possible meeting times and some time later Ellie vaguely remembered scheduling an appointment for Friday at ten.

  She had no idea how long she sat on the step. Every worst-case scenario ran through her head. Cancer. Leukemia. Lymphoma. CJ was her life.

  Her life.

  Nothing in the world could replace him or the hole in her heart he’d leave behind if she ever lost him.

  Watery eyes turned into rivers of tears. Shakes turned into convulsions. Ellie dropped her head on the stairs and cried until she had nothing left inside her but emptiness. She wouldn’t let CJ die. He had so much left to experience.

  His first girlfriend. Driving. Graduation. Going to college. Falling in love.

  Having a father.

  They had a nice life, but still, something was missing. A complete family. A man in the house to tackle and roughhouse with CJ, to throw a football with, to teach him how to shoot a basketball, to show him how to treat a woman.

  Could Colton fill the role model position she’d hoped to have for CJ? Yes, he could. But did he want to?

  No matter what her feelings were toward Colton, her son deserved to have a father in his life. And whether Colton was up to the task or not, he would provide her son with the father figure she’d always wanted CJ to have.

  They may not be married, in love, or living in the same house, but she had to believe that Colton would own up to his duty and welcome CJ into his world.

  Her son would have an abundance of aunts and uncles and a grandmother who would probably love him unconditionally. From what she’d learned from Colton and Rachael, the Rileys were a wild clan, but loved and supported their own. Unlike the Fairfields.

  Wiping her tears on her sweatshirt, Ellie lifted her head, picked up the empty basket, and made a to-do list for Thursday and Friday morning. She needed to stay busy from now until her appointment or she’d wear a path of worry in the cherry hardwood.

  By the time CJ got off the bus that afternoon she’d fixed her face and perfected her mommy smile, not letting her beautiful son know that anything was wrong. They’d played a game of Marvel Comics Memory, dueled each other in Wii bowling, and read two chapters in Diary of a Wimpy Kid before going
to bed.

  The following morning Ellie attempted to put on a good show for Rachael. Her friend would be busy in the kitchen all day, baking and freezing pies for her holiday orders. Ellie stayed out of her way for the most part, but Rachael had a keen eye.

  “You have a minute, Ellie?”

  She tucked her dust rag in her back pocket and set the bottle of lemon-scented wood cleaner on the counter. “Sure. What’s up? The appliances holding up for you?”

  “Yeah, they’re great. How are you, though?”

  They hadn’t talked about Colton; Rachael would have normally egged her on about their budding relationship, encouraging her to seek out her brother or pry into their nonexistent relationship.

  “Good. Fine.” Ellie picked up her mug from the windowsill and refilled it with coffee that Rachael always had fresh while in the house. “Have I told you how much I love your coffee?”

  “Yes. Pretty much every day.”

  “I go through major withdrawals when you’re not here.”

  “I’ve showed you how to make it. You’re not as inept in the kitchen as you make yourself believe.”

  “I don’t know about that. Besides, it always tastes better when someone else makes it.”

  “Care for an éclair to go with the coffee?”

  “Uh, that’s the most ridiculous question I’ve ever heard.”

  Rachael laughed and opened up the refrigerator, pulling out a small plate of her fancy desserts. “Mackenzie put in an order for the weekend. Figured we should sample them before I bring them over.”

  Ellie hadn’t had much time to hang out and socialize, but Mackenzie stopped by the inn occasionally to check on Rachael and what kind of baked goods she had for the shop.

  The small town had been welcoming to her and CJ, making them feel a part of the community. Mackenzie always had a kind word for CJ or Ellie if she encountered them while visiting Ellie. Growing up in a gated community and attending private schools didn’t give her the opportunity to make real friends. Which was probably why she fell so hard and so fast for Colton the summer before her senior year in high school.